it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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