I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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