I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
