Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
