Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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