This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
