Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
