its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Did I show you my penis last night?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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