he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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