I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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