Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
