hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
