Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
