I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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