i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
