Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
