we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
