There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
