Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
