as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
