Duck Duck Cougar?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
