Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
