i was rollin on her like bob the builder
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
