It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
