dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
