please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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