it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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