Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
