The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
