dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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