one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
