I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
