I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
