Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
