i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
