His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
