Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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