Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
