I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I love having hate sex.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
