hell yes lets make some ravioli
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
