Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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