Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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