I wannas sexs uuuuu
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
