you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
