Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
