I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Alive.
So much puke
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
