Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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