omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
