that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The air taste purple.
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