I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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