I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Found the puke drawer
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
